HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May all of you have a blessed and wonderful 2013!!!

xoxoxoxoxox

Why it always feels ok, after a shitty, shitty day, when these guys are around: (I love three way phone calls and the magic of speaker phones)

Me: I don't know. Feels like everything is falling apart.
Art: If it really has then it has. Can't really help it can we?
Stephanie: We can but if other people can't hold it up then what's the use?
Eddie: That is true. The other can't hold on forever.
Me: But how about always trying?
Stephanie: But one has limits. One can have a breaking point.
Art: But there's always a way about things. There is always a possibility.
Eddie: The most important thing is that, you know you did your part.
Art: It is only up to that person to live up with it.
Stephanie: And another thing, that you know you did your part, in a good way, and for the benefit of all.
Eddie: You can't be a martyr. If that person chooses to sink lower into oblivion, you can't let them get you too. Move on.
Stephanie: Move on for the better. One day, that person will decide what a great loss it is to let you go and hurt you the way they had.

I hope I can, but I will. And I will.

On a lighter note:
Eddie: We should screen this new dude of Lena's.
Art: Stop it it's not our business.
Me: Hey if there's the one who should do the screening that'd be me!
Stephanie: All of you shouldn't be screening.
Eddie & Art: Why not?
Me: Coz it's a new guy. Dickwads.
Stephanie: I know who he is.
Me, Eddie and Art: Who?
Stephanie: You guys know who he is. She's lucky he's so hot.
Me: Gerard Butler?
Stephanie: Don't be an idiot Liz.
Art: Who Steph?
Stephanie: I'm not saying.
Me: Eric?
*silence*
Stephanie: Liz. Shut up. You'll meet him.

Hopefully Helena doesn't know about this blog (yet) but yah, eek. Eric? Helena and Eric? WTF! 

Not that I'm complaining. I'm happy for her. Just didn't see that one coming.

Eddie, Art, Steph and Eli and Pam. I miss and love you guys, can't wait to see you wherever you guys planted yourselves after you all left poor me. Lol. Kidding.

I still have Malapascua you know. Fuckers.

xoxo

Had quite a shitty start today that I ended up doing something good, that might have a very shitty repercussion at the moment.

I used my Dad's credit card extension.

And today I got myself:
- A good Italian non stick pan for $180.
- A left handed can opener.
- A new Swatch watch.
- A serpent ring.
- A new pair of ALDO flats.
- an XOXO black top.

Will have to do a lot of things concerning my life right now.

And I'm gonna start with
- cutting off toxic people to my life.
- get my spine on and actually be the freelancer I once was.
- finish the pickle with helena.

Had a busy day again.

Today I...
- got a call from (can't disclose who) about a potential jewelry design deal. all i have to do is to polish my portfolio and meet him in new york. goodluck to me.
- harry potter 7 part 2 isn't as good as I expected it to be. it was a bit of a let down tbh.
- kimono ken crunchy salmon salad and potato croquette with mango tempura ala mode for lunch.
- FIRST AERIAL DANCING TRYOUT. T'WAS FUN EVEN THOUGH MY WRIST WAS KILLING ME.
- GOT EU PAPERS DONE.
- so much to do tomorrow... but yah, keep calm and carry on.

Goodnight.

P.S. Mark if you're reading this, Helena's gonna be in N.Y. by the end of this month. I tried to call you but you're phone's off and your email's kinda funky, my mail went back to me. TTFN.

xx

Will be picked up by Kath (a.k.a. Miss K.D.) today for the private exhibit and after party at the A---- Museum with the lovebirds Jane and Mat. Wouldn't go but they got something of mine in the shelves so eek. I'm shy. Worse, got to do my hair and now have to borrow make up from my sister. I think I'll wear the black dress I haven't worn yet and my grey heels. Too bad I can't take pictures cause I got no camera at the moment. :( I think they got two of my untitled projects on the coffee paper I did long ago. Or maybe one coz I remember one of them got stolen. I'm glad they printed two covers with my shit on it. lol. It's also funny to think that my art has traveled more than I did (so far). I'm glad Andrea brought my ballerina painting with her to Dubai, and Sis Catherine to the States, and Untitled (again) in London. And I left some in Sydney as well although I don't know what happened to them. It sucks that my favorite painting Reach, the mermaid one got damaged by the flood. And Amber Waves too. Wtf I just remembered Amber Waves! Must ask about that one.


Weather, please be nice? Lizzie wants to go to the beach again. I need to get my fill before I go and throw myself to a potentially cold season.

I'm loving capoeira and sushis. I think I now believe in maintaining a happy lifestyle is actually better than living like Timon and Pumbaa. Also, I hope that my application to be a fraud specialist in antiquarian books gets a nod. :( 

Oh well got to be off now. Ciao!

Note to self: Call internet people and rage.

I now leave you with a poem from Senor Neruda: 


I miss Parsley. :( He'd like this one. I remember lending him a copy of Neruda's poems that I borrowed from the library last year. Crazy. Last year. Already.

I think I'll let go of my last antique book. My first edition copy of an 1883 Henry Lee titled Sea Monsters Unmasked. Since his brothers and sisters are gone he should join them too find a much better, and way, way safer place. Like a proper library, where kids can't touch them. :( It shall be greatly missed.

Jane: Sigourney Weaver looks like Summer Glau.
Me: No, she doesn't.
Jane: Yes she does.
Mat: Hold it. (He takes his iPhone out and googles)

She really does look like Sigourney. At least that's what she will look like when she gets old. Those two lovebirds are so funny.

Cirque de Soleil. :(

Gaah, so much stuff to do. But better than nothing and stay at home and go take on Dad's crankiness. I wish the weather would clear, I want to go hunt for the new species they discovered on our shores. Like the Gymnodories and the swell sharks. Cause I swear to God I saw swell sharks before.

I have been rediscovering my love for old Georges Méliès. The picture above is from his 1902 La Voyage de la Lune, what film historians deemed to be the first ever science fiction film based upon a Jules Verne story. Strangely enough, watching it again made me remember Smashing Pumpkin's video, Tonight, Tonight. I'd bet a tenner that the Pumpkins was actually inspired by Méliès when they were conceptualized the whole thing. Even the album jacket of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness had this strong Victorian theme that ran about the place. I've got to say I love the Victorian's view on science. It was so new, so fascinating, so... novel. Now in our time its normal, like something you put on the back of your head the moment you hear it. It became so commonplace that when we hear about something new we just say 'oh okay' or give out an 'ah, really?' then go about our way but had it been disclosed back in the late 18th or early 19th century, the people would have thought it a miracle.

Anyhoo, I made a pizza for dinner today. The other day I bought a cheese and garlic pizza crust because I was lazy to make my own but I finally made it a real pizza awhile ago and here are the toppings that I put in it:

- arugula or baby rocket
- pancetta, parma ham
- salami
- green capsicums
- red onion
- spring onions
- black olives
- smoked cheese
- cheddar cheese
- Italian style spaghetti sauce with pepper, garlic salt, red pepper flakes and steak spice (coriander, mustard seed, celery powder, etc.)
- pepper, oregano, basil

It turned out to be really good. The red pepper flakes gave out a spicy kick, I went easy on the garlic salt though, like really easy, because the pancetta already gave out enough salt to flavor the whole pizza. I would have used regular pizza sauce but I couldn't find tomato paste and pizza sauce wasn't in the cupboard so I improvised. Got to say I owe it all to the smoked cheese.

July 8 already. Time is running out. Can't believe it's already july.

I wish my lot will sell soon, before the vultures descend. And all the crap will crash over. I miss Niki, he'd know what to do. I also finished Steph's gown design today. Dammit, I wish Niki was here. I still feel guilty, if it wasn't me that put the idea of cave diving into his head. It should have been me, not him. Me.

Me.

But there's no use trying to feel all bad now. I just have to live with his guilt I guess. I still live. And he doesn't. And he doesn't want this to happen to me. Wherever you are Niki, I miss you. Helena too. I hope that for her sake she'll find someone else. She can't live like this forever.

Stupid fucking internet.

Anyway... weather is fucked, yet again. Had my nails done  but I reckon it's going to be undone soon since they mess themselves up almost automatically. Wrist is also fucked, still. But it's not hurting as bad, I guess massaging the wrist every hour for five minutes really works. Fucking hell I ain't goin to have it operated every time I hear hand operation I remember that old horror movie wherein the doctor pulls a tendon on a woman's cut out wrist and he makes it move by pulling it. Sick. It's like The Dentist...

Everything seems futile. dark and bleak. I feel like giving up. I feel like i'm standing at the edge of a cliff. All it needs is one little push. Just one little push. And I'm off.

I think that Im still here because of a few people that I love. But if they let me go and I feel it, I think it's time for me to go as well.